I feel like a little fish, swimming under a twinkley ceiling of silver streamers and shiny things in this most fantastic bar. I am completely mesmerized by the gaudy décor and it is the best place for me to shake my booty to some Latin 45’s on the dance floor. Wish I were there right now.

If you can get past the bourgie factor and/or you work down the street like I do, you will come to love this place. It has some of the best food in the city, a Blue Bottle coffee, and an observation deck from which you can watch the ferries come and go, emitting their weird beeps and disgorging tourists. The people who work here are great too (whether or not I dated a baker from the Acme Bread kiosk because of a Craigslist missed connection will be left to history).

Start the day with a well-balanced overpriced coffee in an industrial setting.

At the midpoint of the Filbert steps, near tourist favourite Coit Tower, The Malloch is a streamline Moderne gem built in 1937. I discovered it after watching Dark Passage, a 1947 Bogart and Bacall film noir. Lauren Bacall's character lives on the third floor and Bogey holes up there. A Deco beauty cruising towards the Bay. It has the coolest lift ever.

The greatest place in the history of the world.